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Monday, 13 February 2017

Before You Start Living In Your Boyfriend's House

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Before you start to cohabit with your boyfriend, you gotta read this and answer these questions.

- Are you giving yourself to him without a bride price? Or are you ready to take that burden off from him? 

- Are you ready to live life of a wife? 

- What makes you think he deserves to enjoy you like a wife without properly marrying you?




I know there are so many reasons people cohabit and I can hear you trying to defend yourself or someone who is cohabiting as you read those questions. For those who may be living with their boyfriends, I know your likely answers to the question and I'll use some instances in this our discussion. Well, you may say "Some people only cohabit with their boyfriends because they have problems and don't have anyone else to run to" but allow me ask this question: If they were not in that relationship, wouldn't they have had an option? And why do they have no plan of moving out soon whenever they get in?

Hey! I want to point out that I'm dealing strictly with girls who are already performing the full wife duties in their boyfriend's house. 

I'll give answers to my questions and analyse them below. These answers might not be the same for everyone but the answers are surely somehow related.


Answer No 1.

- No, I love him, we love each other but we can't get married yet. 

Answer No 2

- I'm his girlfriend, I can help him with chores at home (and even on the bed - they won't say this). What matters is that we love each other.

- Answer No 3

He loves me, I love him. We're going to get married sooner or later. 

Okay, if your answer isn't the same as the ones above, calm down and just read on. 

No matter the excuses you have for cohabitation, it still doesn't justify it. And "Love" is the main reason some would give but why don't you set things in place (get married) to express your love rightly. Now, I'll mention some disadvantages of cohabitation below. 


  • It makes you look cheap. 


Consider this, what if you don't get married to him eventually? After you've lived in his house for months or years and he has been sleeping with you. Is that how you'll continue with the rest of the men you'll date? 

You may say he loves me and wouldn't leave me. Sister! If he loves you, you people should start the wedding plans or do not cohabitate at all. If you're not ready for marriage yet, then wait. Why should you want to live as couples when you say you're not ready yet?


  • It shows you don't have a focus or an aspiration.


A goal driven person would not allow a man keep her in his house without marriage. When you are all about fulfilling your dreams, you stay away from every possible distractions and performing the duties of a wife could be a distraction at that point. 

  • You're setting the wrong example. 


Yes, you're showing the wrong examples to younger ones and even your unborn kids. 

Imagine you have a younger sister who knows you're living with a man you're not married to, she gets the wrong idea that sleeping off in a man's house doesn't mean anything. 


  • It could cause you loss 


What do I mean by this? 

All I'm saying is that you could lose somethings that are meant for you in life. 

For example, if you get pregnant along the way and you're still a student, it would distract you from school work. You start considering abortion and start thinking of how to hide it or give birth. This will just waste the time and energy you're supposed to use for something better. 


I drop my pen at this junction, send in your questions, comments and contributions.

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